Our 9th Anniversary

Today is the 9th year.....it seems like only yesterday I been through my life with this wonderful guy. Still can remember clearly,the nervous feeling inside the mosque...waiting for the change of reaction to become a wife...I'm not nervous to getting married..but I'm more concern about the feeling once the akad is done... I felt nothing at that moment...not afraid at all to cross to new world....

With two akad...I was officially a Mrs... at the very young age that was..just 22 years old..
we have been through alot...A LOT!...(^ _ ^).....9 years of marriage..the sharing, the pain, the gain,..everything was history..moving forward..and counting the more wonderful years ahead...

I Hate Poco-Poco...( ^ - ^)''~~

Since day one I learnt about this dance, my eyes rolled over and I felt sick in the tummy. Why would anybody, everybody! loves this dance so much...honestly..it is so stupid. Surprisingly it is mostly favoure by the rich and famous...women..of high and upper class..from minister to royalty... It's everywhere...Malaysian are known for copying things without so much thinking...as long as it is the 'IN' thing..then why not...Here's a little something to think about..it is logic..if with near scrutiny..the step is indeed quiet similar to the hand gesture the christian like to do to symbolize the cross symbol in front of the face...


Rahsia Asal Usul Tarian Poco-poco.

Alhamdulillah kerana kita semua masih bernafas lagi dgn keizinanNya. Saya ingin berkongsi dgn rakan-rakan semua tantang tarian poco-poco yang sedang hangat ditarikan oleh semua lapisan masyarakat, umumnya masyarakat kita yg beragama islam terutama suri-suri rumah dan badan-badan kerajaan ketika manghadiri kursus.

Sebenarnya tarian poco-poco ini berasal dari Filipina bukannya dari Indonesia. Ia ditarikan oleh masyarakat yg berugama kristian ketika mereka menghadiri upacara sembahyang mingguan mereka. Lihatlah sahaja bagaimana pergerakannya, yang membentuk salib.

Mungkin kita tak perasan kerana kita suka mengikut-ikut sesuatu yg baru tanpa usul periksa. Inilah cara musuh-musuh islam mengenakan kita sedangkan kita tahu apabila kita melakukan sesuatu yg menyerupai sesuatu agama maka kita dikira merestui agama itu seperti amalan yoga yg telah difatwakan haram kerana menyerupai agama Hindu. cuma tarian pocoh2 ini belum difatwakan haram lagi. Marilah kita sama2 fikirkan.

Saya dulu pernah terfikir, kenapa tarian itu dimulakan dari kiri? Dan apa jenis senaman ini? Relevankah tarian ini, yang kelihatan seperti tidak siuman?

Saya menyeru kepada diri anda semua supaya mengambil inisiatif untuk tidak lagi ‘menarikan’ lagi tarian ini yang ternyata mensyirikkan Allah tanpa kita sedar. Dan paling utama memohon keampunan daripada Allah S.W.T atas kejahilan kita tentang perkara ini sebelum ini.

Semoga mendapat perhatian pihak berkenaan agar mengkaji secara terperinci tentang kesahihan perkara ini,asal usul dan kesannya kepada akidah umat Islam dan mengeluarkan fatwa tentang tarian ini,agar Umat Islam tidak berterusan di dalam kelalaian dan ‘keasyikkan’ menarikan tarian ini.

Moderation

Firman Allah dalam surah Al-Baqarah ayat
216 yang bermaksud:

“Dan boleh jadi kamu benci akan sesuatu, sedang ia lebih
baik bagimu; dan boleh jadi kamu kasihi sesuatu, sedangkan
ia melarat bagimu. Dan Allah mengetahui, tetapi kamu tiada
mengetahui.”

I am forever in wonder with all Allah's creation around me, I am aware of the human nature of never be satisfied in everything that they have..one way or another , there will always be something missing, everybody else has something better than you, greater than you...while never did they realize, to stop and look around. There are many more unfortunate people I. will always be in the process of educating me, pushing me, forcing me, to be gratefull....always...enough whining, it's annoying , even to me...

Look around you, you're lucky to live, to have a family, to have a basic necessity, what else do you want? Just be thankful....Alhamdullillah forever in your heart!

Raya Blues

I've just heard, my mum n dad n the rest of the hood will be celebrating raya in Kelantan..well this is heart wrenching...This is the seventh year that I wish to see my mok....she's my only grandmother that still live.... I will have to pray harder it seems....to got the chance to see her again.....The years have taken toll on her well being..she's quiet weak and frail in every part...
It makes me think, whether I will have the opportunity to see her and hug her before it's all ended..... I am the fav of mum and mok, and how I have fail them....

I wish things will get better in every corner of my life....well.....I guess this year raya will only be the four of us then.... Hopefully it will be the best also...

Story For The Soul

IBU MISALI

OLEH NORHASHIMAH HASHIM

PENERIMA ketiga berjalan perlahan-lahan turun dari pentas. Di lehernya, telah terkalung pingat "Ibu Misali". Tangan kanannya menggenggam erat satu sampul dan segulung sijil. Tangan kirinya pula memegang beberapa hadiah iringan. Anaknya setia melangkah di sisi.

"Sekarang ...," suara pengacara majlis bergema kembali, "Tibalah kita kepada penerima anugerah "Ibu Misali" yang terakhir. Penerima ini agak lain daripada yang lain dan sungguh istimewa. Untuk itu, dipersilakan Puan
Afifah Rashid naik ke pentas bersama- sama Cik Nurul Humairah, untuk tampil memperkenalkan ibunya. Dipersilakan. "

Mataku tercari-cari pasangan ibu dan anak yang bakal mengambil tempat itu. Di barisan penonton paling hadapan, aku dapati seorang anak gadis berkulit hitam manis dan bertubuh tinggi lampai, sedang berusaha memujuk seorang wanita dalam lingkungan usia 60-an untuk bangun.

Aneh, kenapa ibu yang seorang ini nampaknya begitu keberatan untuk naik ke pentas? Kenapa dia tidak seperti tiga orang penerima sebelumnya, yang kelihatan begitu bangga menapak naik ke pentas, sebaik sahaja mereka
dijemput?

Hampir lima minit kemudian, barulah tampak si anak gadis yang memakai sepasang kebarung bertanah ungu dan berbunga merah jambu serta bertudung ungu kosong, bersusah payah memimpin ibunya naik ke pentas.

Ibu itu pun menduduki kerusi yang telah diduduki oleh tiga orang penerima sebelumnya. Anak gadis itu kemudiannya beredar ke pembesar suara. Dia beralih pandang kepada ibunya yang hanya tunduk memerhati lantai pentas.

'Pelik sungguh ibu yang seorang ini. Lagaknya bukan lagak orang yang akan menerima anugerah. Dia tak ubah seperti seorang pesalah yang sedang menanti hukuman. Duduknya serba tak kena. Sekejap beralih ke kanan, sekejap berpusing ke kiri. Tangannya menggentel-gentel baju kurung biru muda yang dipakainya.'

Dehem si anak dalam pembesar suara membuat aku sedikit tersentak. Tumpuanku yang sekian lama terhala ke pentas, aku alihkan pada buku notaku. Aku menconteng-conteng helaian yang masih putih bersih itu untuk memastikan penku dalam keadaan yang baik. Kemudian, aku memeriksa kameraku. Filemnya masih ada. Baterinya masih dapat bertahan.

Sempat juga aku mengerling rakan-rakan wartawan dari syarikat akhbar dan majalah lain yang duduk di kiri kananku. Nampaknya, pen sudah berada dalam tangan masing-masing. Mata mereka sudah terarah kepada ibu di atas pentas dan anak yang sudah pun memulakan bicaranya dengan bismillah dan, memberi salam.

Aku tersenyum dan mengangguk kepada rakan- rakan wartawan yang duduk semeja denganku. Tetapi, senyuman dan anggukanku sudah tidak sempat mereka balas. Aku lantas mengemaskan dudukku mencari posisi yang paling selesa.

"Pertama sekali, saya ingin memanjatkan rasa syukur ke hadrat Allah, kerana dengan izin-Nyalah saya dan, mak berada dalam majlis yang gilang-gemilang ini. Seterusnya, saya ingin merakamkan penghargaan saya kepada pihak penganjur yang telah mempertimbangkan mak saya sebagai, salah seorang penerima anugerah "Ibu Misali" tahun ini."


Suasana menjadi sunyi. Hadirin memberi tumpuan sepenuhnya kepada percakapan gadis itu.

"Sebetulnya, ketika saya kecil, saya memang membenci mak. Darjah kebencian itu meningkat setelah saya mendapat tahu Puan Afifah hanyalah mak angkat saya. Pada masa yang sama, saya merasakan sayalah anak yang paling malang, disisihkan oleh ibu sendiri, dan diperhambakan pula oleh mak angkat untuk membantu menjaga anak-anak kandungnya"


"Membantu menjaga anak- anak kandungnya? Mungkin, persoalan itu sedang pergi balik dalam benak tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekarang. Persoalan itu pasti akan terjawab sebentar lagi, apakala saya mempertontonkan rakaman video yang memaparkan kehidupan anakanak kandung mak. Sebelum itu, saya harus menegaskan bahawa anak-anak yang bakal hadirin lihat nanti bukan terdiri daripada doktor, peguam, jurutera, pensyarah, ahli perniagaan, pemimpin masyarakat, dan guru, seperti mana anak ketiga-tiga "Ibu Misali" yang baru menerima anugerah sebentar tadi." Suara hadirin yang kehairanan mula kedengaran.

"Inilah dia abang-abang dan kakak- kakak saya!" suara hadirin semakin kedengaran. Mereka tidak dapat membendung rasa kekaguman.

"Yang mengeluarkan berbagai-bagai bunyi itu, Abang Long. Yang sedang merangkak ke sana ke mari itu, ialah Kak Ngah. Yang sedang mengesot ke ruang tamu itu, ialah Abang Alang. Yang sedang berjalan sambil berpaut pada dinding itu, ialah Kak Anjang. Yang sedang berjalan jatuh dari dapur ke dalam bilik itu, ialah Abang Andak."

"Seperti yang tuan-tuan dan puan-puan saksikan, tahap kecacatan fizikal dan mental abangabang dan, kakak-kakak saya tidak sama. Daripada yang tidak boleh bercakap dan bergerak langsung, seperti bayi yang baru lahir
hinggalah kepada yang boleh berjalan jatuh dan, bercakap pelat-pelat, seperti budak berumur satu atau, dua tahun." Hadirin yang sebentar tadi bingit suaranya kini terdiam kembali. Mereka menonton video yang sedang ditayangkan itu dengan khusyuknya.

"Untuk pengetahuan semua, abang-abang dan kakak-kakak saya, telah menjangkau usia 20-an dan, 30-an. Namun, meskipun telah dilatih dengan sungguh-sungguh, mereka masih belum pandai mengurus makan minum dan berak kencing mereka sendiri. Lihatlah betapa sukarnya mak hendak melayan makan dan, pakai mereka."
"Sewaktu saya berusia enam atau, tujuh tahun, saya sering mencemburui abang-abang, dan kakak-kakak kerana mereka, mendapat perhatian istimewa daripada mak. Saya iri hati melihat mak memandikan mereka. Saya sakit hati melihat mak menyuap mereka. Sedang saya disuruh buat semua itu sendiri."

"Mirah dah besar, kan? Mirah dah boleh uruskan diri Mirah sendiri, kan?" Lembut nada suara mak tiap kali dia memujuk saya. Namun, kelembutan itu telah menyemarakkan api radang saya

"Tapi, mak tak adil!" Saya kerap membentak. "Mak buat segalagalanya untuk kakak- kakak dan abang- abang. Kalau untuk Mirah, mak selalu berkira!"

"Mirah, abang-abang dan kakak-kakak Mirah tidak secerdas Mirah. Mereka cacat!" Berkali-kali mak menegaskan kepada saya. "Sebab itulah mak terpaksa membantu mereka."


"Mereka cacat apa, mak?" Saya membeliakkan mata kepada mak. "Semua anggota mereka cukup. Kaki dan tangan mereka tidak kudung. Mata mereka tidak buta. Yang betulnya, mereka malas, mak!"

"Mirah ... Mirah belum faham, sayang." Suara mak akan menjadi sayu tiap kali dia mempertahankan kakak-kakak dan abang-abang saya. Tetapi, kesayuan itu tidak pernah mengundang rasa simpati saya.

"Apabila difikirkan kembali, saya merasakan tindakan saya itu terlalu bodoh. Abang-abang dan kakak-kakak tak pernah kacau saya. Mak pun Cuma sekali-sekala saja meminta bantuan saya menyuapkan mereka makan atau
menukar kain lampin mereka. Itu pun saya tidak pernah ikhlas menolong. Saya akan merungut tidak henti-henti sepanjang masa saya melakukan itu. Jika makanan yang saya suap tumpah atau jika abang-abang dan kakak-kakak terkencing atas tangan saya, ketika saya sedang menyalin kain lampin mereka, tangan saya ringan saja mencubit atau menampar mereka. Saya tahu mereka tidak pandai mengadu perbuatan jahat saya kepada mak. Ketika itu, memang saya langsung tidak punya rasa hormat kepada abang-abang dan kakak-kakak. Kepada saya, kehadiran mereka menyusahkan hidup saya."

"Hantarlah abang-abang dan kakak-kakak ke rumah kebajikan, mak." Saya pernah mengusulkan kepada mak, ketika saya berusia sepuluh tahun."Lepas itu, mak dan ayah boleh hidup senang-lenang macam mak dan ayah orang lain. Mirah pun takkan rasa terganggu lagi."

"Mereka anak-anak mak, Mirah. Jadi, maklah yang patut jaga mereka, bukan petugas-petugas di rumah kebajikan." Begitu reaksi mak setiap kali saya mencadangkan hal itu.

"Saya langsung tidak menghormati, apatah lagi mengagumi pendirian mak. Mak memang sengaja menempah masalah. Mak tidak menghargai jalan keluar yang telah sedia terentang di hadapannya."

"Rasa geram dan marah saya sampai ke puncaknya, semasa saya berusia dua belas tahun. Pada hari itu, mak demam teruk hingga tidak dapat bangun. Ayah terpaksa ambil cuti untuk membawa mak ke klinik. Lalu, saya ditinggalkan untuk menjaga abang-abang dan kakak-kakak di rumah. Sebelum meninggalkan rumah, biarpun dalam keadaan yang lemah, berkali-kali mak sempat berpesan kepada saya, agar jangan lupa memberi abang-abang dan kakak-kakak makan, dan menukar kain lampin mereka."
Suasana dewan terus sunyi. Hadirin masih khusyuk mendengar cerita gadis itu.

"Itulah kali pertama saya ditinggalkan bersama-sama abang-abang dan kakak-kakak, selama lebih kurang lima jam. Jangka masa itu cukup menyeksakan. Kebetulan pada hari itu, abang-abang dan kakak-kakak benar-benar mencabar kesabaran saya. Entah mengapa Abang Long enggan makan. Jenuh saya mendesaknya. Abang Alang dan Kak Ngah pula asyik mencirit saja. Letih saya menukar kain lampin mereka. Abang Andak pula, asyik main air
ketika saya memandikannya. Basah lencun baju saya dibuatnya. Kak Anjang pula, asyik sepahkan nasi dan tumpahkan air. Penat saya membersihkannya. "


"Apabila mak dan ayah pulang, saya sudah seperti kain buruk, tubuh saya lunyai. Saya sudah tidak berupaya melihat muka mak dan ayah. Saya terus melarikan diri ke rumah ibu kandung saya, yang terletak di sebelah rumah mak. Begitulah lazimnya. Apabila fikiran saya terlalu kacau, saya akan ke rumah ibu untuk mencari ketenangan."

"Ibu!" Saya menerpa masuk lalu memeluk ibu. "Kenapa ibu bagi Mirah kepada mak? Kalau ya pun ibu tidak suka Mirah, bagilah Mirah pada orang lain yang lebih menyayangi Mirah, bukan mak."

"Mirah!" Ibu merangkul saya. "Kan dah berkali-kali ibu tegaskan yang ibu bagi Mirah kepada mak bukan kerana ibu tak sayang Mirah."

"Lazimnya ibu akan membuka kembali lipatan sejarah hidupnya apabila situasi itu berlaku. Ibu ialah kakak mak. Ibu sakit teruk setelah melahirkan saya. Selama berbulan-bulan ibu terlantar di hospital, mak yang telah menjaga
saya. Setelah ibu sembuh, ibu dapat lihat sendiri betapa gembiranya mak dapat menjaga seorang anak normal.

Justeru, ibu tidak sampai hati hendak memisahkan kami."

"Ibu telah berasa betapa nikmatnya menjaga tujuh orang anak yang pintar dan cerdas. Jadi, biarlah nikmat itu turut dirasakan oleh mak pula dengan menjaga Mirah. Lagipun, dengan menyerahkan Mirah kepada mak, ibu masih dapat melihat Mirah membesar di hadapan mata ibu, walaupun Mirah tinggal bersama-sama mak. Dari pemerhatian ibu, ibu rasa, mak lebih menyayangi Mirah berbanding dengan anak anaknya yang lain."

"Sayang apa? Ibu tahu tak yang rumah tu macam neraka bagi Mirah? Ibu tahu tak yang Mirah ni tak ubah seperti hamba di rumah tu?"

"Jangan besar-besarkan perkara yang kecil, Mirah. Ibu tahu sekali-sekala saja mak membebankan Mirah dengan kerja-kerja rumah dan tugas menjaga abang-abang dan kakak-kakak Mirah. Itu pun Mirah buat tidak sesungguh hati. Nasi mentahlah, lauk hanguslah, abang-abang, dan kakak-kakak kena lempanglah."

"Mak adu semua kepada ibu, Ya?" Saya masih mahu berkeras meskipun saya tahu saya bersalah.

"Mak jarang-jarang mengadu keburukan Mirah kepada ibu. Ibu sendiri yang kerap mengintai Mirah dan melihat bagaimana Mirah melaksanakan suruhan mak."

"Saya tunduk. Saya sudah tidak sanggup menentang mata ibu." "Ibu malu, Mirah. Ibu mengharapkan kehadiran Mirah di rumah mak kau itu dapat meringankan penderitaan mak.

Tetapi, ternyata kehadiran Mirah di rumah itu menambahkan beban mak."

"Saya benar-benar rasa terpukul oleh kata-kata ibu."

"Ibu rasa, apa yang telah mak beri kepada Mirah, jauh lebih baik daripada apa yang diberi kepada anak-anaknya sendiri. Mirah dapat ke sekolah. Kakak-kakak dan abang-abang Mirah hanya duduk di rumah. Mirah dapat banyak
pakaian cantik. Sedang anak-anak mak yang lain pakaiannya itu-itulah juga. Setiap kali Mirah berjaya dalam peperiksaan, mak sungguh gembira. Dia akan meminta ibu tolong menjaga abang-abang dan kakak-kakak kerana dia nak lihat Mirah terima hadiah."

"Saya tidak sanggup mendengar kata-kata ibu selanjutnya, bukan kerana saya tidak mengakui kesalahan saya, tetapi kerana saya benar-benar malu."

"Saya meninggalkan rumah ibu bukan kerana berasa tersisih daripada ibu kandung sendiri, atau berasa kecewa sebab tidak mendapat pembelaan yang diharap- harapkan. Saya meninggalkan rumah ibu dengan kesedaran baru."
"Sesampainya saya ke rumah tempat saya berteduh selama ini,saya dapati mak yang belum sembuh betul sedang melayan kerenah abang-abang dan kakak-kakak dengan penuh sabar. Saya terus menghilangkan diri ke dalam bilik kerana saya dihantui oleh rasa bersalah. Di dalam bilik, saya terus resah-gelisah.
"

"Mirah," panggilan lembut mak seiring dengan bunyi ketukan di pintu bilik saya. "Mirah."

"Saya cepat-cepat naik ke atas katil dan memejam mata, pura-pura tidur."

"Sejurus kemudian, terdengar bunyi pintu bilik saya dibuka. "Mirah dah tidur rupa-rupanya! Kesian. Tentu Mirah letih menjaga abang-abang dan kakak- kakak semasa mak, ke klinik siang tadi. Maafkan mak, sayang. Mak
tahu Mirah masih terlalu muda untuk memikul beban seberat itu. Tapi, keadaan benar- benar terdesak pagi tadi, Mirah. Mak janji, lain kali mak tak akan kacau Mirah lagi. Mak akan meminta ibu atau orang lain menjaga
abang- abang dan kakak-kakak kalau mak terpaksa tinggalkan rumah"

Sepanjang mak berkata-kata itu, tangan mak terus mengusap-usap dahi saya. Suara mak tersekat-sekat. Saya terlalu ingin membuka mata dan menatap wajah mak ketika itu.

"Mirah, mak tahu Mirah tak bahagia tinggal bersama-sama mak."

Suatu titisan air mata gugur di atas dahi saya. Kemudian, setitik lagi gugur di atas pipi saya. Selepas itu, titisan-titisan itu kian rancak gugur menimpa serata muka dan leher saya.

"Walau apa pun tanggapan Mirah kepada mak, bagi mak, Mirah adalah segala-galanya. Mirah telah menceriakan suasana dalam rumah ini. Mirah telah menyebabkan mak berasakan hidup ini kembali berharga. Mirah
telah. .."

"Mak!" Saya lantas bangun lalu memeluk mak. Kemudian, tiada kata-kata yang lahir antara kami. Yang kedengaran hanyalah bunyi sedu-sedan dan esak tangis.


Peristiwa pada hari itu dan, pada malamnya telah mengubah pandangan saya terhadap mak, abang-abang dan kakak-kakak. Saya mula merenung dan menilai keringat mak. Saya mula dapat menerima keadaan kakak- kakak dan abang- abang serta belajar menghormati dan, menyayangi mereka.

Keadaan dewan menjadi begitu sunyi seperti tidak berpenghuni sejak gadis itu berbicara.

Setelah meraih kejayaan cemerlang dalam peperiksaan penilaian darjah lima, saya telah ditawarkan untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke peringkat menengah, di sebuah sekolah berasrama penuh. Saya telah menolak tawaran tersebut.

"Kenapa Mirah tolak tawaran itu?"

"Bukankah di sekolah berasrama penuh itu Mirah boleh belajar dengan sempurna?"

"Betul tu, Mirah. Di sana nanti Mirah tak akan berdepan dengan gangguan daripada abang-abang dan kakak-kakak! "

"Mirah tak menyesal ke, kemudian hari nanti?"

Bertubi-tubi mak dan ayah menyoal. Mata mereka tidak berkelip-kelip memandang saya.

"Mak, ayah." Saya menatap wajah kedua-dua insan itu silih berganti. "Mirah ingin terus tinggal di rumah ini. Mirah ingin terus berdamping dengan mak, ayah, abang-abang dan kakak-kakak. "

"Tapi, boleh ke Mirah buat ulang kaji di rumah? Pelajaran di sekolah menengah itu, bukannya senang." Mak masih meragui keupayaan saya.

"Insya-Allah, mak. Mirah rasa, Mirah dapat mengekalkan prestasi Mirah semasa di sekolah menengah nanti," balas saya penuh yakin.

Mak dan ayah kehabisan kata-kata. Mulut mereka terlopong. Mata mereka terus memanah muka saya. Garis-garis kesangsian masih terpamer pada wajah mereka.
Sikap mak dan ayah itu telah menguatkan azam saya untuk terus menjadi pelajar cemerlang, di samping menjadi anak dan adik yang baik.

Selama di sekolah menengah, mak sedapat mungkin cuba membebaskan saya daripada kerjakerja memasak dan mengemas rumah, serta tugas menjaga makan pakai abang-abang dan kakak-kakak kerana takut pelajaran saya terganggu. Sebaliknya saya lebih kerap menawarkan diri untuk membantu, lantaran didorong oleh rasa tanggungjawab dan timbang rasa.

Gadis yang bernama Nurul Humairah itu terus bercerita dengan penuh semangat, apabila melihatkan hadirin di dalam dewan itu mendengar ceritanya dengan penuh minat.

"Saya terpaksa juga meninggalkan rumah sewaktu saya melanjutkan pelajaran di Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. Di sana saya membuat pengkhususan dalam bidang pendidikan khas. Bidang ini sengaja saya pilih kerana saya ingin menabur bakti kepada segelintir pelajar yang kurang bernasib baik. Di samping itu, pengetahuan yang telah saya peroleh itu, dapat saya manfaatkan bersama untuk abang-abang dan kakak-kakak. "

"Kini, telah setahun lebih saya mengharung suka duka, sebagai seorang guru pendidikan khas di kampung saya sendiri. Saya harus akui,segulung ijazah yang telah saya miliki tidak seberapa nilainya, berbanding dengan
mutiara-mutiara pengalaman yang telah mak kutip sepanjang hayatnya."

"Sekarang, saya lebih ikhlas dan lebih bersedia untuk menjaga abang-abang dan kakak-kakak. Pun begitu, hati ini sering tersentuh apabila beberapa kali saya terdengar perbualan mak dan Ayah."

"Apa akan jadi kepada kelima-lima orang anak kita itu lepas kita tak ada, bang?" suara mak diamuk pilu.

Ayah akan mengeluh, kemudian berkata, "Entahlah. Takkan kita nak harapkan Mirah pula?"

"Mirah bukan anak kandung kita." Mak meningkah. "Kita tak boleh salahkan dia kalau dia abaikan abang-abang dan kakak-kakaknya."

"Mirah nak tegaskan di sini, mak, yang Mirah akan membela nasib abang-abang dan, kakak-kakak lepas mak dan ayah tak ada. Ya, memang mereka bukan saudara kandung Mirah. Tapi, tangan yang telah membelai tubuh Mirah dan tubuh mereka adalah tangan yang sama. Tangan yang telah menyuapkan Mirah dan mereka, juga tangan yang sama. Tangan yang memandikan Mirah dan mereka, adalah tangan yang sama, tangan mak."

Kelihatan gadis yang berkebarung ungu, berbunga merah jambu itu, tunduk sambil mengesat air matanya dengan sapu tangannya. Kebanyakan hadirin, khususnya wanita turut mengesat air mata mereka.

Gadis itu menyambung bicaranya. Tiga bulan lalu, saya terbaca mengenai pencalonan anugerah "Ibu Misali" dalam akhbar. Saya terus mencalonkan mak, di luar pengetahuannya. Saya pasti, kalau mak tahu, dia tidak akan
merelakannya. Saya sendiri tidak yakin yang mak akan terpilih untuk menerima anugerah ini, sebab anak- anak mak bukan terdiri daripada orang-orang yang disanjung masyarakat, seperti lazimnya anak- anak "Ibu
Misali" yang lain.

"Lorong dan denai kehidupan yang orang-orang seperti mak lalui mempunyai banyak duri dan, ranjau berbanding dengan ibu-ibu lain. Betapa keimanan mak tidak tergugat biarpun berdepan dengan dugaan yang sebegini hebat. Tiada rasa kesal. Tiada rasa putus asa. Tidak ada salah-menyalahkan antara mak dan ayah."

"Maafkan Mirah sekali lagi, mak. Hingga ke saat- saat terakhir tadi, mak masih tidak menyenangi tindakan Mirah mencalonkan mak, untuk menerima anugerah ini. Mak merasakan diri mak terlalu kerdil lebih-lebih lagi setelah mak mendengar pengisahan "Ibu Misali" pertama, kedua dan ketiga. Berkali-kali mak tegaskan yang mak menjaga anak-anak mak bukan kerana mahukan anugerah ini, tapi kerana anak-anak adalah amanah Tuhan."

"Saya ingin jelaskan di sini bahawa saya mencalonkan mak untuk anugerah ini, bukan dengan tujuan merayu simpati. Saya cuma berharap kegigihan dan ketabahan mak akan dapat direnung oleh ibu-ibu lain, terutama ibu-ibu muda yang senang-senang mendera dan mencampakkan anak mereka yang comel,segar-bugar serta sempurna fizikal dan, mental."

"Sebagai pengakhir bicara, sekali lagi saya ingin merakam penghargaan saya kepada pihak penganjur, kerana telah mempertimbangkan mak saya sebagai salah seorang penerima anugerah "Ibu Misali" tahun ini. Semoga pemilihan mak ini akan memberi semangat baru kepada ibu-ibu lain yang senasib dengan
mak."

"Sekian, wassalamualaikum warahmatullah. "

Gadis itu beredar meninggalkan pembesar suara.

Penku telah lama terbaring. Buku notaku telah lunyai dek air mataku sendiri. Bahuku dienjut-enjut oleh sedu- sedanku. Pandanganku menjadi kabur. Dalam pandangan yang kabur-kabur itu, mataku silau oleh pancaran
cahaya kamera rakan semejaku. Aku segera mengangkat kameraku dan menangkap gambar secara rambang tanpa mengetahui sudut mana atau, apa sebenarnya yang telah menarik perhatian wartawan-wartanan lain.

'Bertenang. Kau di sini sebagai pemberita. Kau seharusnya berusaha mendapat skop yang baik, bukan dihanyutkan oleh perasaan kau sendiri.' Terdengar pesanan satu suara dari dalam diriku.

Lantas, aku mengesat air mataku. Aku menyelak buku notaku mencari helaian yang masih belum disentuh oleh air mataku. Aku capai penku semula.

"Demikianlah kisah pelayaran seorang ibu di samudera kehidupan yang tidak sunyi dari ombak dan badai. Sekarang, dijemput Yang Berbahagia Puan Sri Salwa Najwa dengan diiringi oleh Pengerusi Jawatankuasa Pemilihan "Ibu Misali" untuk menyampaikan anugerah "Ibu Misali" serta beberapa hadiah iringan kepada Puan Afifah Rashid. Yang Berbahagia Puan Sri dipersilakan."

Nurul Humairah membantu maknya bangun. Kemudian, dia memimpin maknya melangkah ke arah Yang Berbahagia Puan Sri Salwa Najwa. Lutut maknya menggeletar. Namun begitu kerana dia tidak berdaya menahan perasaannya dia terduduk kembali di atas kerusi.

Melihatkan itu, Yang Berbahagia Puan Sri Salwa Najwa sendiri datang mendapatkan Puan Afifah, lalu mengalungkan pingat itu. Setelah itu, beliau menyampaikan beberapa hadiah iringan. Air mata Puan Afifah berladung.

Tepukan gemuruh bergema dari segenap penjuru dewan. Sejurus kemudian, seorang demi seorang penerima anugerah "Ibu Misali" sebelumnya, naik ke pentas bersalaman dan berpelukan dengan Puan Afifah. Bertambah lebatlah hujan air mata penerima anugerah "Ibu Misali" yang terakhir itu.

(Dewan Sastera Mei 2000)

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

Alhamdullillah, I live for another year to go through this fasting month. All the debts have being paid..so just wait and see how many would be for this year around.It suppose to be the month of saving, be cautious in spending but by the look of our raya expenditure it seems like we have gone overboard, deep down, the bottom deep..no ending..The kids clothing only had made my head goes spinning.Even though it is a once a time thing but the cost is like a whole year cost of wardrobe...scary ..and it makes me wants to crawl in the farthest corner, to hide for the fact of the outrageous act. Lavishly ...it's all that I can say and it was uncall for...But seriously, why are they children's attire are much...much more expensive than adults attire? Mimi gown is double the price of my shirt.

The beauty part of Ramadhan..I am determine to be a better muslim in term of religious practicing...to make use the terawih merit to the fullest and...well just aim to be a starting point to become a better person overall, mentally, morally, physically.. cooking session is a bless, I have time to experiment with new dishes..I just love cooking...nothing can beat the feeling of being in the kitchen ....(ops...maybe there's one).. hahahhahaha

It's the schools's break even Ihsaan have been on and off the break for the past few weeks already...hmmmm premature baby is always fragile in term of well being...Mimi is tougher it seems like in coping with the outside world...I feels like putting Ihsaan back into the womb...so....so fragile...at least he will be safe inside...:)

Coping with two quarrelling siblings do give me headache..but it also give me such a warmth at heart..a mother's love kick in.. It is so much love in the air, the satisfying feeling of being able to watch the kids progress and grow in front of your eyes are tremendously indescribable...even though it has cost me dearly in having my work done....but there're sacrifices to be make in order to achieve something you truly treasured...I guess...

The time of being away from the kids are the only thing that is killing me...I'll die without them...seriously! They are the world, the life and the air that I breath...

Soal Hati

" This world that lovers know they will soon discover,
He will give his heart to her and never cease to love her"

Love will always be my strongest element of life. From the early creations, I am a result of love...
My childhood was filled with love. Love for The one an only Allah...,love for ma and daddy...love for siblings.... Nothing much in the young innocent of a child's heart that should be bother than the loves around her..
Early childhood , I discover the love for friendship..my best friend died, at the very young age of 11...how much I missed her, the memories with her will lingered for eternity.( Al- Fatihah for arwah Suzana) I can't accepted the fact that she's gone forever..and how every night afterward I prayed to be with her...to die at the young age... I keep on wishing and praying that I also be given the privilege to leave the world with innocents heart...because..in my mind at the time...there's only one fact...the longer you live..the more sins you make...I wish I can be in heaven with her...all kids go to heaven isn't it.

As time goes by, the love for her never have died, each passing days I discover a puppy love which was quite a shame...really..! A little girl who has just know the power of opposite attraction. Life as a high school student bring me face to face to the greatest love of all. A crush for a boy which are hilarious to remember...for it was only me, who had succumb to the fall what where known as a secret love..Those who has married a high school sweetheart are very lucky to have a chance to grab the love at the highest peak.. As for me..., I have spent countless lonely night of crying out alone, for I know this love will never be discover forever...

Life at uni, bring me to the love for men...a man so dear that I choose to experiment in adulthood love which in the end.....it turns out to be the one and only love that I must nurtured since it's bond us together to sail through the rest of the life forever....With all these passing years, still I know...I will never forget the loves that I have collected along the way.....

Going Down The Memory Lane

Facebook..connecting people...
It's being more than a decade since I last communicating with all my long lost friends.. thank god for the technology of facebooking..I have the chance to reconcile with those who are dear to me..from the early beginning of life education process.

Friends from my most cherished childhood..the time when we were playing with only shorts..running amok's through the neighbourhood..playing dirt's... hide and seek..friends that were lost along the way..(Al-fatihah to those that were gone). I still can remember vividly the fasting time...running around the surau going to neighbour houses to buy after tarawih snacks.. Friends to quarrelled..friends to rely on....

Primary school, early secondary...late secondary.., matrics life, uni life...it's being one splash of an adventure of life..

Face book making it easier to keep in touch..

H1N1 ....All about It.

This is the best info that I dig from the net about the virus...
I'm terribly ...terribly concerns...since the death numbers are increasingly still.. precaution that our family has taken was by taking a flu vaccine..at Darul Ehsan Medical Centre...which cost about RM 87.05 per person..that's all that we can do in term of protection ... read on...surely..a must..


What is novel H1N1 (swine flu)?

Novel H1N1 (referred to as “swine flu” early on) is a new influenza virus causing illness in people. This new virus was first detected in people in the United States in April 2009. This virus is spreading from person-to-person worldwide, probably in much the same way that regular seasonal influenza viruses spread. On June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization (WHO) signaled that a pandemic of novel H1N1 flu was underway.

Why is novel H1N1 virus sometimes called “swine flu”?

This virus was originally referred to as “swine flu” because laboratory testing showed that many of the genes in this new virus were very similar to influenza viruses that normally occur in pigs (swine) in North America. But further study has shown that this new virus is very different from what normally circulates in North American pigs. It has two genes from flu viruses that normally circulate in pigs in Europe and Asia and bird (avian) genes and human genes. Scientists call this a "quadruple reassortant" virus.

Novel H1N1 Flu in Humans

Are there human infections with novel H1N1 virus in the U.S.?

Yes. Human infections with the new H1N1 virus are ongoing in the United States. Most people who have become ill with this new virus have recovered without requiring medical treatment.
CDC routinely works with states to collect, compile and analyze information about influenza, and has done the same for the new H1N1 virus since the beginning of the outbreak. This information is presented in a weekly report, called FluView.

Is novel H1N1 virus contagious?

CDC has determined that novel H1N1 virus is contagious and is spreading from human to human.

How does novel H1N1 virus spread?

Spread of novel H1N1 virus is thought to occur in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing by people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something – such as a surface or object – with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.

What are the signs and symptoms of this virus in people?

The symptoms of novel H1N1 flu virus in people include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. A significant number of people who have been infected with this virus also have reported diarrhea and vomiting. Severe illnesses and death has occurred as a result of illness associated with this virus.

How severe is illness associated with novel H1N1 flu virus?

Illness with the new H1N1 virus has ranged from mild to severe. While most people who have been sick have recovered without needing medical treatment, hospitalizations and deaths from infection with this virus have occurred.

In seasonal flu, certain people are at “high risk” of serious complications. This includes people 65 years and older, children younger than five years old, pregnant women, and people of any age with certain chronic medical conditions. About 70 percent of people who have been hospitalized with this novel H1N1 virus have had one or more medical conditions previously recognized as placing people at “high risk” of serious seasonal flu-related complications. This includes pregnancy, diabetes, heart disease, asthma and kidney disease.

One thing that appears to be different from seasonal influenza is that adults older than 64 years do not yet appear to be at increased risk of novel H1N1-related complications thus far. CDC laboratory studies have shown that children and few adults younger than 60 years old do not have existing antibody to novel H1N1 flu virus; however, about one-third of adults older than 60 may have antibodies against this virus. It is unknown how much, if any, protection may be afforded against novel H1N1 flu by any existing antibody.

How does novel H1N1 flu compare to seasonal flu in terms of its severity and infection rates?

With seasonal flu, we know that seasons vary in terms of timing, duration and severity. Seasonal influenza can cause mild to severe illness, and at times can lead to death. Each year, in the United States, on average 36,000 people die from flu-related complications and more than 200,000 people are hospitalized from flu-related causes. Of those hospitalized, 20,000 are children younger than 5 years old. Over 90% of deaths and about 60 percent of hospitalization occur in people older than 65.

When the novel H1N1 outbreak was first detected in mid-April 2009, CDC began working with states to collect, compile and analyze information regarding the novel H1N1 flu outbreak, including the numbers of confirmed and probable cases and the ages of these people. The information analyzed by CDC supports the conclusion that novel H1N1 flu has caused greater disease burden in people younger than 25 years of age than older people. At this time, there are few cases and few deaths reported in people older than 64 years old, which is unusual when compared with seasonal flu. However, pregnancy and other previously recognized high risk medical conditions from seasonal influenza appear to be associated with increased risk of complications from this novel H1N1. These underlying conditions include asthma, diabetes, suppressed immune systems, heart disease, kidney disease, neurocognitive and neuromuscular disorders and pregnancy.

How long can an infected person spread this virus to others?

People infected with seasonal and novel H1N1 flu shed virus and may be able to infect others from 1 day before getting sick to 5 to 7 days after. This can be longer in some people, especially children and people with weakened immune systems and in people infected with the new H1N1 virus.

Prevention & Treatment


What can I do to protect myself from getting sick?

There is no vaccine available right now to protect against novel H1N1 virus. However, a novel H1N1 vaccine is currently in production and may be ready for the public in the fall. As always, a vaccine will be available to protect against seasonal influenza
There are everyday actions that can help prevent the spread of germs that cause respiratory illnesses like influenza.

Take these everyday steps to protect your health:

• Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
• Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners* are also effective.
• Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
• Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
• If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.) Keep away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick.

Other important actions that you can take are:

• Follow public health advice regarding school closures, avoiding crowds and other social distancing measures.
• Be prepared in case you get sick and need to stay home for a week or so; a supply of over-the-counter medicines, alcohol-based hand rubs,* tissues and other related items might could be useful and help avoid the need to make trips out in public while you are sick and contagious
What is the best way to keep from spreading the virus through coughing or sneezing?
If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.)
Keep away from others as much as possible. Cover your mouth and nose with a tissue when coughing or sneezing. Put your used tissue in the waste basket. Then, clean your hands, and do so every time you cough or sneeze.

If I have a family member at home who is sick with novel H1N1 flu, should I go to work?

Employees who are well but who have an ill family member at home with novel H1N1 flu can go to work as usual. These employees should monitor their health every day, and take everyday precautions including washing their hands often with soap and water, especially after they cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.* If they become ill, they should notify their supervisor and stay home. Employees who have an underlying medical condition or who are pregnant should call their health care provider for advice, because they might need to receive influenza antiviral drugs to prevent illness. For more information please see General Business and Workplace Guidance for the Prevention of Novel Influenza A (H1N1) Flu in Workers.

What is the best technique for washing my hands to avoid getting the flu?

Washing your hands often will help protect you from germs. Wash with soap and water or clean with alcohol-based hand cleaner*. CDC recommends that when you wash your hands -- with soap and warm water -- that you wash for 15 to 20 seconds. When soap and water are not available, alcohol-based disposable hand wipes or gel sanitizers may be used. You can find them in most supermarkets and drugstores. If using gel, rub your hands until the gel is dry. The gel doesn't need water to work; the alcohol in it kills the germs on your hands.

What should I do if I get sick?

If you live in areas where people have been identified with novel H1N1 flu and become ill with influenza-like symptoms, including fever, body aches, runny or stuffy nose, sore throat, nausea, or vomiting or diarrhea, you should stay home and avoid contact with other people. CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.) Stay away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick.Staying at home means that you should not leave your home except to seek medical care. This means avoiding normal activities, including work, school, travel, shopping, social events, and public gatherings.
If you have severe illness or you are at high risk for flu complications, contact your health care provider or seek medical care. Your health care provider will determine whether flu testing or treatment is needed.
If you become ill and experience any of the following warning signs, seek emergency medical care.

In children, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:
• Fast breathing or trouble breathing
• Bluish or gray skin color
• Not drinking enough fluids
• Severe or persistent vomiting
• Not waking up or not interacting
• Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
• Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

In adults, emergency warning signs that need urgent medical attention include:
• Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
• Pain or pressure in the chest or abdomen
• Sudden dizziness
• Confusion
• Severe or persistent vomiting
• Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough

Are there medicines to treat novel H1N1 infection?

Yes. CDC recommends the use of oseltamivir or zanamivir for the treatment and/or prevention of infection with novel H1N1 flu virus. Antiviral drugs are prescription medicines (pills, liquid or an inhaled powder) that fight against the flu by keeping flu viruses from reproducing in your body. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. During the current pandemic, the priority use for influenza antiviral drugs during is to treat severe influenza illness (for example hospitalized patients) and people who are sick who have a condition that places them at high risk for serious flu-related complications.

What is CDC’s recommendation regarding "swine flu parties"?

"Swine flu parties" are gatherings during which people have close contact with a person who has novel H1N1 flu in order to become infected with the virus. The intent of these parties is for a person to become infected with what for many people has been a mild disease, in the hope of having natural immunity novel H1N1 flu virus that might circulate later and cause more severe disease.
CDC does not recommend "swine flu parties" as a way to protect against novel H1N1 flu in the future. While the disease seen in the current novel H1N1 flu outbreak has been mild for many people, it has been severe and even fatal for others. There is no way to predict with certainty what the outcome will be for an individual or, equally important, for others to whom the intentionally infected person may spread the virus.
CDC recommends that people with novel H1N1 flu avoid contact with others as much as possible. If you are sick with flu-like illness, CDC recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.) Stay away from others as much as possible to keep from making others sick.

Contamination & Cleaning

How long can influenza virus remain viable on objects (such as books and doorknobs)?

Studies have shown that influenza virus can survive on environmental surfaces and can infect a person for 2 to 8 hours after being deposited on the surface.

What kills influenza virus?

Influenza virus is destroyed by heat (167-212°F [75-100°C]). In addition, several chemical germicides, including chlorine, hydrogen peroxide, detergents (soap), iodophors (iodine-based antiseptics), and alcohols are effective against human influenza viruses if used in proper concentration for a sufficient length of time. For example, wipes or gels with alcohol in them can be used to clean hands. The gels should be rubbed into hands until they are dry.

What if soap and water are not available and alcohol-based products are not allowed in my facility?

Though the scientific evidence is not as extensive as that on hand washing and alcohol-based sanitizers, other hand sanitizers that do not contain alcohol may be useful for killing flu germs on hands.

What surfaces are most likely to be sources of contamination?

Germs can be spread when a person touches something that is contaminated with germs and then touches his or her eyes, nose, or mouth. Droplets from a cough or sneeze of an infected person move through the air. Germs can be spread when a person touches respiratory droplets from another person on a surface like a desk, for example, and then touches their own eyes, mouth or nose before washing their hands.

How should waste disposal be handled to prevent the spread of influenza virus?

To prevent the spread of influenza virus, it is recommended that tissues and other disposable items used by an infected person be thrown in the trash. Additionally, persons should wash their hands with soap and water after touching used tissues and similar waste.
What household cleaning should be done to prevent the spread of influenza virus?
To prevent the spread of influenza virus it is important to keep surfaces (especially bedside tables, surfaces in the bathroom, kitchen counters and toys for children) clean by wiping them down with a household disinfectant according to directions on the product label.

How should linens, eating utensils and dishes of persons infected with influenza virus be handled?

Linens, eating utensils, and dishes belonging to those who are sick do not need to be cleaned separately, but importantly these items should not be shared without washing thoroughly first.
Linens (such as bed sheets and towels) should be washed by using household laundry soap and tumbled dry on a hot setting. Individuals should avoid “hugging” laundry prior to washing it to prevent contaminating themselves. Individuals should wash their hands with soap and water or alcohol-based hand rub immediately after handling dirty laundry.
Eating utensils should be washed either in a dishwasher or by hand with water and soap.
Exposures Not Thought to Spread Novel H1N1 Flu

Is there a risk from drinking water?

Tap water that has been treated by conventional disinfection processes does not likely pose a risk for transmission of influenza viruses. Current drinking water treatment regulations provide a high degree of protection from viruses. No research has been completed on the susceptibility of novel H1N1 flu virus to conventional drinking water treatment processes. However, recent studies have demonstrated that free chlorine levels typically used in drinking water treatment are adequate to inactivate highly pathogenic H5N1 avian influenza. It is likely that other influenza viruses such as novel H1N1 would also be similarly inactivated by chlorination. To date, there have been no documented human cases of influenza caused by exposure to influenza-contaminated drinking water.

Can novel H1N1 flu virus be spread through water in swimming pools, spas, water parks, interactive fountains, and other treated recreational water venues?

Influenza viruses infect the human upper respiratory tract. There has never been a documented case of influenza virus infection associated with water exposure. Recreational water that has been treated at CDC recommended disinfectant levels does not likely pose a risk for transmission of influenza viruses. No research has been completed on the susceptibility of novel H1N1 influenza virus to chlorine and other disinfectants used in swimming pools, spas, water parks, interactive fountains, and other treated recreational venues. However, recent studies have demonstrated that free chlorine levels recommended by CDC (1–3 parts per million [ppm or mg/L] for pools and 2–5 ppm for spas) are adequate to disinfect avian influenza A (H5N1) virus. It is likely that other influenza viruses such as novel H1N1 virus would also be similarly disinfected by chlorine.

Can novel H1N1 influenza virus be spread at recreational water venues outside of the water?

Yes, recreational water venues are no different than any other group setting. The spread of this novel H1N1 flu is thought to be happening in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing of people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose.